Recently it’s been a bit difficult to make myself talk about things in blog form at least once a week, but right now I’m a few beers in and figured I’d just go for it. Let’s start by complaining about things!

All I want to do is play tennis and read books. Why do I have to do all of this adult stuff? Why doesn’t Matt want to share just one car with me to save money when we grow up? Why do white strips make my teeth hurt so badly?

Who controls the traffic light by the gas station? Honestly sometimes I think I wait there for 3-5 minutes like, I need to go home. Why am I such an obnoxious drunk?

Why do pill bugs like my basement so much? Why does my mom always take my little vacuum and not tell me? I can’t find it. I don’t know where it is.

Why doesn’t my Marauder’s Map prop actually make sense? Why can’t I portion control? Why am I so anxious all the time? Why do people think tipping $4 on $74 is okay?

Maybe I should stop with the why’s. I have a stack of mail from the last two weeks I’m too afraid to look through. And a growling stomach begging to be stuffed with goodies and no calories left to do so today. I have homework to be done and a concert to go to in two days and sweater to buy for the dress I need to fit into. I have to unpack my overnight bag and get ready for bed and start a load of laundry and maybe journal a little about my insecurities and my frustrations and my goal weight.

I need to dust and organize and vacuum and plan how many calories a day I’m allowed to have this week to get down to where I was last week. I need to work out again because I’m anxious and I need to complain to my journal about being anxious and hate working out and I need to finish that one episode of Merlin that I never finished from that one time I forgot I had to take a test.

Have a happy Wednesday. Sorry for the rambling. See ya later.


Community College Woes

Community colleges are great! We have several in our larger metro area, and they attract lots of people who wouldn’t otherwise have gotten an education. They help to get jobs quickly or keep jobs by offering classes that are applicable to the real world. Most of them offer clubs, honor societies, and even housing. And (they’ve always told me) an associate’s degree is better than no degree. Even though most people use an associate’s degree as a transfer degree from community college to a 4 year.

My problem with it, however, is how going to a community college makes me feel. I’m not a mom with a full time job struggling to advance in my career. I graduated from high school less than 5 years ago. I very well could have gone to a university. Sadly, the prestige surrounding going to a 4 year college is something I don’t think I’ll ever have.

It’s possible that I could transfer to a university to pursue my original career goals (pharmacy), but I’m so anxious all the time, and (frankly) so broke and afraid of loans that chances are I’ll just finish my little associate’s degree and work at home with my cats all day for forever. And I already regret it. But I’ve weighed the pros and cons of going to school for another 5-6 years and making more money a year versus starting a career with wages similar to a teacher’s earlier on. It’s a medical transcription degree I’m currently going for, so it’s not easy mindless work exactly. If all goes well I’ll still be able to afford a semi-nice house with at least one wet bar.

Back to my original point: community college itself. It’s difficult for me to get motivated about learning when I expected myself doing something different. It seems most of my teachers, advisers, and fellow classmates don’t even really put a lot into the work they do there, and the apathy is contagious. Most teachers there don’t seem to care too much about the subject matter. They don’t get me excited to learn. They’re just there to grade, it seems. They also have a bad habit of making everything way too easy for students. There’s already the curriculum. My thoughts are that if you have a student struggling with a part of the curriculum, teach them or send them somewhere that another person can help them. Don’t bring the whole class down to their level.

Also, this quarter my head isn’t in it (probably has something to do with summertime) and I keep forgetting to turn things in. It just happened again where I turned in the wrong version of homework and got 1 point out of 50. Hopefully she’ll accept the new one.

Happy Wednesday.


Little Red Schoolhouse

This post has been on my mind for a while now. Mostly because this quarter school has taken up about 85% of the time I’m not sleeping or at work. Most of my college’s classes are either fully online now, or are offered in a hybrid format using Angle LMS. I think I hate Angel LMS.

First of all, personally I have not benefited at all through the use of an online learning system. Honestly I learn better by having to write things than typing them (probably because I type too quickly). I like having to highlight information, sift through papers, write down my answers, turn them in on paper, and get direct feedback written on them for a more visual experience.

Having to do all homework through Microsoft Word documents and upload boxes leaves so much room for technology errors, especially with such a glitchy system. There always seems to be something wrong with Angel. I hate how in order to do school work I have to be at a computer. I hate how I have a habit of buying pretty office supplies like pens and notebooks and rarely get to use them.

Part of my excitement for school is not just the learning but the process of learning requiring real paper and real ink. It’s just frustrating to me that very few classes use traditional class methods lately.

For now I’ll just content myself making more notes than what’s necessary in my notebooks to get my fix.

Happy Wednesday.