Remembrall

Last year like springtime I made a post similar to this one I’m making now. I read it again because I was feeling nostalgic for the days I blogged more often.

Reading this post was a breath of fresh air in my stalemate battle to be happier. I’m not drowning currently, but I’m not as well off and stable as I’d like to be. The medications are doing all the work for me right now. Deep down? I’d like to change that. I want to feel good again instead of just “there.”

Last spring was the one taste of happiness I’ve ever really sampled. It was very appealing. I like to think I can get there again; and for good this time. I just have to notice “the little things,” and avoid dwelling on any bad things. That’s a big first step for me. Especially because my self talk is shit and has always been shit and at this point I don’t feel confident it’ll ever be anything but shit. My depression gives me blinders, but when I remember how much I love to decorate for the seasons, and remember the squirrels and birds and the way the sun glows through the trees, and remember the feel of soft pajamas under my heated blanket with my cat and a good book, and remember that overall I’m much better off than before. Then, I get hopeful. Which is a step in itself.

Getting hopeful means remembering there’s another way to be. I’d like to be another way, please.

Happy Wednesday.

Don’t be a Potato Face

Nobody is perfect. Every single person makes mistakes, loses their cool, or just acts out of character at least once. Our world is just full of so many people that at any given time, we may have to deal with the worst side of everyone we come across in a day. Especially those of us working primarily with the public. Most of the time I’m able to look past a few grumpy butts reminding myself that they don’t own me, and I won’t let them get to me. Other days it seems every person I come across is there specifically to make my life a living hell. It’s mostly because they think they’re the only person in the world and don’t have the patience or social etiquette/manners required to deal with fellow humans. Now, nobody’s perfect, so I’m definitely not trying to claim that I am. Good potatoes, no, but I do try. I try really hard. Sometimes I lose my patience when I’ve been inconvenienced. Sometimes I accidentally forget to smile with my manners. Sometimes I ask for stupid requests. Sometimes I even feel like I deserve more or better than what I get. But I always try my best to be a pleasant, friendly person to interact with. With friends, family, and coworkers I do my best to smile and care and nod and listen and help and offer suggestions and things. In public I always try to smile and say please thank you maybe a little more than what’s necessary to make them feel appreciated. I always double check my coupons/sales prices so I’m not “one of them.” I always tip well (or reasonably if the service was poor, which I find to be rare). I always hold doors and listen to credit card/reward card/featured menu item offers, and always make my consideration or decline polite. Sometimes I just want a quick trip or an easy way out when I’m tired or hungry or grumpy, but I’m always polite and respectful. Sometimes I’m really air headed in public and don’t understand right away. But I don’t get cranky or blame the service person. Now I’m starting to ramble. Again, I’m not saying I’m perfect, but sometimes I find it hard to believe that that many people can be having such a bad day in a day on any given day. Why are so many people determined to be miserable and spread their misery? Why can’t more people try to make the best of things at least to keep from treating other people poorly and prevent the spread of negativity? Happy today.

It’s the Little Things

I love when it’s 12:34. I love when there are 3 of something. I love avocados and mountain dew.

I love the sound fancy keyboards make. I love flipping through a new book. I love leaving for work and seeing squirrels and birds in my tree.

I love hearing great songs on the radio. I love having an “ah ha!” moment in school. I love the freedom of eating something and not knowing the calorie content.

I love the smell of clean laundry. I love buying office supplies. I love having fun at work.

I love coffee with whipped cream. I love getting to be green when we play board games. I love when people get my bad jokes.

I love my heated blanket. I love when I wake up thinking I’m late for work but it’s actually my day off. I love breakfast food.

I love when my cat follows me in the house. I love when I have time to watch Doctor Who on Netflix. I love remembering a whole night’s worth of dreams.

I love getting gumballs out of the $0.25 machine. I love swingsets. I love meeting new pets.

I love seeing the Northern Lights in Nebraska. I love coupons. I love decorating my living space for the respective season or holiday.

I love the feeling of taking out my contacts at night. I love writing big on chalkboards and dry erase boards. I love new textbooks.

I love studying with candy. I love back scratches. I love camping.

I love getting excited about things. I love making things for people. I love fuzzy pants and fluffy socks.

I love the feel of a room after deep cleaning it. I love getting butterflies every time I see my engagement ring. I love remembering a lot of little things starting from when I was 3.

I love when people are nice to me. I love when people notice how nice I am. I love art supplies.

I love the comfort of my Grandma’s house. I love riding bikes. I love to pretend I have conversations with animals.

Everyone has down days. I’m in a bit of a depression, and have been for a couple weeks. I like to remind myself that there are so many little things (besides people and financial issues) that make my day brighter. What do you love?