Hi, I’m Shley!
It’s difficult for me to describe myself. I’m assuming you don’t want a full autobiography, so how about a list of not-so-fun facts?
- I love my cat more than I love most people. But I do love all animals. I’ve had almost 50 pets since childhood and I love and miss every single one. Most were birds, by the way, not fish.
- I have never, EVER, claimed to be good at writing or putting down thoughts. I know I need a lot of work.
- Fuzzy socks are the best socks.
- I love to read. I love to drink coffee, tea, and mountain dew. I like to read while I’m drinking coffee, tea, or mountain dew.
- I’m married to a guy with the best beard in the universe.
- I have 4 parents. My mom and dad have been divorced since I was a year old. I met my stepdad at age 2 and my stepmom at age 6. I’ve never known a different family life than having 2 families. Turned out it made me a very good liar and a situational chameleon. My mom and stepdad then had 2 children and my dad and stepmom adopted a child. So I have 3 half siblings 13, 14, and 15 years younger than me. I was an only child for a very long time.
- My IQ is 135, but my anxiety (among other things) has held me back quite a bit from things I could have accomplished with those kind of skills.
It’s been requested that I add a list of my known diagnoses. And by requested I mean I’ve gotten comments/emails along the lines of “what is even wrong with you” so I’ve decided to add this short list.
- History of eating disorders is the big one (restricting and purging and overexercising. The chart says both Bulimia and Ednos) The first time I noticed I felt fat was at 10 years old, but my parents tell me I wanted to “exercise off the food” as young as 6 or 7.
- Generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder.
- Bipolar Depression II (hypomania and severe depression) diagnosed just last year, but my mom had been convinced since early teenager-hood
- Dissociation disorder
- Borderline personality disorder (the one that’s usually known to cause what my stepmom calls “tantrums,” but I usually call them breakdowns or rages.)
- I went into a fugue state once around the time I graduated high school. Some sort of acute psychosis we just wrote off because it hasn’t happened since.
- I’ve been a self-injurer since I was 12 years old. I physically cannot count the scars. It’s probably in the thousands by now.
- Very mild obsessive compulsive disorder that hasn’t been as bad as it was when it was diagnosed. I’m not sure what’s helped it, but it’s tied in very closely to the eating disorder. I don’t talk about it much, but I’m always afraid there are bugs everywhere, so I’ve been known to clean obsessively and not eat or drink very much when it gets bad, because I’m sure bugs crawled into my food etc.
- Nightmare disorder. I have a nightmare at least 5 or 6 nights out of the week. They wake me up all the time. I 100% don’t know when my last “good” dream was.
- Insomnia, but only when I’m manic.
- I’m actually a very angry person in an irrational way, but I’m working on figuring out why I get so mad.
- Body dysmorphic disorder which is tied in to the eating disorders as well.
- Something perusing my medical charts reminded me of: ODD – oppositional defiant disorder. Severe Issues with authority and being told what to do.
- PTSD. Still not even ready to describe why 🙂
- #MeToo (in case you were interested in that nonsense.)
I like to be nice, because I like when people are nice to me. I try to live by the golden rule. I enjoy the little things and even the finer things, so basically I like to just enjoy things if possible. I’m pretty optimistic for a chronically sad person. I’ve had to be hospitalized as a danger to myself 4 times, so I don’t want that to ever happen again. Once was as recent as spring 2015.
But like I’ve mentioned, I have a great husband and a great cat, a huge family, and the will to at least try and get better.