Checkmate

My cat and I have spent all day in bed so forgive me if my words are overly muddled. I wrote a poem the other day; it was the first time in years. It wasn’t as good as they used to be. Funny. I guess the use it or lose it thing applies to everything. Journaling and blogging and doing anything besides idle, mindless tasks have gotten so hard. And now on to the obligatory my food/body issues part of the post:

I read a book about learning to abandon the dieting frame of mind, and how that should free me into only eating when I’m hungry. Joke’s on you, book! I’m lacking the appropriate enzymes! My weight keeps going up along with my feeling of helplessness and I swear I’m trying. I saw an article online today that suggested “Amphetamines may help binge eating disorder!” Well no shit. I’ve been trying to convince my doctor literally for years that I need a magical pill to make my jeans fit better. Not to mention the fact that I’m always tired or sleeping. Maybe this drug can cure all my woes 😀

When people talk about retiring early or winning the lottery or whatever they always talk about how they’d volunteer or work part time or something because they’d be bored. If I were unemployed right now, I would NEVER be bored. Imagine the books I’d read! The cats I’d pet! The games I’d play and the blogs I’d post! I’d FINALLY have time to craft again. I’d FINALLY have the energy and wherewithal to teach myself things I’ve been dying to learn. I could be bilingual. I could be healthy. I could go for lunch with people once every 2 weeks to switch it up a bit, remind myself that there’s a world with humans in it.

I literally day dream about this life.

Damnit, world. Quit making me work. I hate the people. Did you know it’s VERY difficult to have a job as an introvert? When you want nothing more than quiet solo work or whatever people make you talk to people and there are those jerks that insist on talking to you when you’re CLEARLY reading a book in the breakroom etc. Oh, what’re you reading? I’m reading SHUT THE HELL UP I’M READING. Damnit.

GAHHH.

I need a vacation. A very long vacation.

Foggy sick brain is done rambling now go back to your candy crush and LOSE 60 POUNDS IN 60 SECONDS articles.

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