Let’s just say this has not been a good month for Shley.
I hate the struggling, the messes, the insomnia, and I hate the mental and emotional deterioration.
I hate how I am made up of 10 different Shleys and they wage war in my mind.
I hate bloating.
I hate my job, and I especially hate motherfuckers who can’t tip. (Tell me what I did to deserve $5 on $100 and I’ll retract that statement.)
I hate my inability to function.
I hate having cold sweats and fatigue all day and mania at night.
I hate feeling like I’m going to have a heart attack all the time.
I hate having mind-based motivation but absolutely no physical energy to back it up.
I hate how much that interferes with my overall wellbeing.
I hate my making bad decisions all the time.
I love my cat, though. And I love Matt and calorie-free Jello-O. Books are fun, and I just bought new bookmarks and that’s a good feeling. I’ve got to distract myself somehow. Either way, I feel myself falling very quickly and I’m scared.
At least I bought a book of crossword puzzles to keep me entertained during my trip back to hell.